'If we could only see ourselves the same way that we see those we love, we could be living in an entirely different world'
I hope one day I can look in the mirror and see myself for who I really am. I want to look into my own eyes and see more than my loneliness. I want to look at my awkward smile and not be disgusted. I want to stand up straight and feel like the way that I am is good enough. I want to embrace my ribcage, especially on the days when it is all I can see. I want to shout to at myself that it is ok. It's ok to be human, and t’s ok to have flaws. I look the way I look, and they look the way they look, and we are all exactly how we are supposed to be.
I want to learn to love every part of myself, even if no one else ever will. From my imperfect teeth, to the protruding bones on my shoulders and the tiny marks telling stories all the way down my thighs. I want to love every part of me. I want to learn to look at myself with the same envy and awe I look upon others with. I want to remind myself that what I see reflected back at me is not who I am, it is only who I appear to be. I want to look in the mirror and see my soul. I want to know that there is goodness left in there. We all have our demons, but I am so sick of always letting mine win.
I wish we were not conditioned from such a young age to hate ourselves. I wish instead of constantly being taught how we can improve, we could for once focus on loving what is already there. Why are we taught to hate our bodies before we can even understand how it functions? Why are we made to believe that beauty can be found only if we are willing to inflict ourselves with so much pain? Why do any of us even aspire to be perfect? Perfect only exists because we let it.
We are taught from a young age what beauty is, and we are told to pluck and paint and shrink ourselves into unattainable images of what society decides is beautiful in that exact moment. Every time you think you might have finally found it, and every time you feel like you might finally love the person looking back at you in the mirror, beauty changes. It is society who decides that the image you have been striving toward for so long is no longer 'it.'; so then the cycle starts again and again, and I fear that it will never end.
We have to stop doing this to ourselves, we have to stop doing this to the future generations to come. You can only push someone so far before they break, and I think so many people in this world are already so broken. Why can’t we just stop and put them all back together; why can’t we all just agree that beauty is everything and nothing all at once? What I find beautiful, you might not, and that does not make either of us wrong. The way you look naturally is never wrong, however it is the way the world treats you that is wrong.
I wish I could look in the mirror and know that my purpose in this life goes far beyond how appealing my physical appearance is. I want to wake up every day and thank my body for the good it does for me, rather than chastising myself for looking this way. I want the weight of the world off of my shoulders so I can hold my head high and carry myself the way I am meant to be carried. I want to believe it when someone tells me that I am beautiful, just like I want you to as well.
Isn't it funny how much time we spend trying to get our loved ones to love themselves when we cannot even love ourselves. If we could only see ourselves the same way that we see those we love, we could be living in an entirely different world. Your body is not your enemy, your peers bodies are not your enemy; however the way you look at yourself so negatively is.
I want to learn to love the girl in the mirror; understanding that my body is not my enemy, my body is my home. Repeating, my body is not my enemy, and I would give anything to truly believe that.